At 5:06 a.m., my sister walked into the house I bo…

“If you are the owner of record, you may want to come in or have counsel contact us today.”

“Counsel is already on it.”

“That would be wise.”

I scheduled a locksmith. I called my home insurer and put them on notice of a potential occupancy dispute. I changed the password on the Wi-Fi.

I changed the alarm code. I put two-factor authentication on every financial account I had ever opened. Then, because pettiness is sometimes just another form of excellent planning, I started a list of every single thing in that house I had personally paid for.

The dining table. The sectional. The rugs.