I remembered mornings when she said she felt sick and stayed in bed long after I left for work. I had thought she was avoiding responsibility. Now I wondered if those were days when anxiety had made ordinary life feel impossible. I remembered inviting her out with friends and feeling frustrated when she made excuses. I had thought she no longer cared. Now I understood that social situations may have felt unbearable to her.

“There were signs,” I said quietly, more to myself than to her. “I just didn’t know how to read them.”

Rebecca gave a sad smile.

“I became good at hiding it,” she said. “Too good, maybe. I told myself that if I looked normal long enough, maybe I would eventually feel normal.”

PART 2

That was the cruel irony. She had hidden her pain to protect the marriage, but hiding it had helped destroy the connection between us. I had lived with someone who was drowning, but she had learned to sink quietly enough that I never reached for her.