I was already halfway up my mother’s walkway when I realized I hadn’t practiced my smile.

After thirty-six years, you’d think it would come naturally—the polite, harmless curve of the lips that says I’m fine even when you’re not. The kind that looks good enough in photos, even if it never reaches your eyes.

The porch light buzzed above the door, drawing in moths that kept throwing themselves against the glass, desperate to get inside. I understood that feeling more than I wanted to admit. Laughter spilled out every time the door opened—warm, loud, and easy.

My mom’s voice rang clear, my brother Mike’s deeper laugh underneath, and the chaotic noise of teenagers—Tyler and his friends. I paused at the last step and tightened my grip on the gift bag in my hand. Inside was a small velvet box—a necklace I had picked weeks ago. A delicate gold lily. Her favorite. I had spent too much time choosing it, imagining her reaction, imagining her smiling and saying, “You always know exactly what I like.” I knew better, but hope doesn’t disappear just because it’s foolish. I forced a smile and knocked.